writer. storyteller. teacher
Two kids, two dogs, one husband. And one real mother who hasn’t had a complete thought since 1996.
I was in the privacy of my own home. The shades were drawn. It was the middle of the day. There was no chance of getting caught. Or so I thought. In my haste, I overlooked one very important detail – locking the back door. I don’t know who was more startled. And I’m not… Continue reading Scarred for Life
Many people who move to Bozeman soon make an unexpected discovery - suddenly they have become extremely popular. Long lost friends come a callin’ hoping to hang out with you – in your Montana paradise. Without fail, my wannabe guests always have two questions. First: Can we stay with you? Second: Will you take us… Continue reading Yellowstone for Dummies
A missed call only minutes ago and now he won’t answer me? Ring. Where could he have gone? Ring. Ring. And why doesn’t he have his phone? Ring. He ALWAYS has his phone. Ring. No voicemail? Ring. For crying out loud! Ring. Ring. Why isn’t he answering me? Ring. Ring. ANSWER. ME. Ring. Ring. Maybe… Continue reading Worrying About Worrying
For Election Day, I dug up a column from 2008 where I suggested that the Presidential Election would be more interesting if it were more like a reality show. I was only kidding, people. Now - GO VOTE!!! I love presidential election years. As a political junkie, I love the debates, the verbal… Continue reading Is This Reality? (an Election Day reprise)
There are certain events in life that are tailor made for a contract. Buying a home? Get it in writing. Landed a new job with a big fat salary and a comprehensive dental plan? It’s only a reality after you sign your John Hancock. Have a bunch of moola before you get married? Better get… Continue reading When Baby Makes Three
Many people remember the instant it happens. And nothing is ever the same. The sun is brighter. Mr. Bluebird lands on your shoulder because you're just so darned happy. You've become so annoying that your closest friends are actually plotting Mr. Bluebird's untimely demise. And that’s a sure sign that you are head over heels… Continue reading Rules of Engagement
When I was a kid and the phone would ring during dinner, my mom would glare at the harvest gold wall mount and yell, “DON’T answer it!” She’d then lower her voice. “Pretend we’re not home,” she’d whisper as if the caller could hear her. According to Mom, there was an appropriate time and place… Continue reading Cell Phone Addict
The 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy, written by E.L. James, has become a worldwide phenomenon. This series continues to reach unprecedented sales milestones that suggest every man and woman on the planet currently owns a copy. The craze started for the self-published James thanks to friends telling friends and ebooks – where women could simply… Continue reading 50 Shades of A Real Mother
In the past decade, the field of neuroscience has produced amazing scientific breakthroughs. Researchers have learned how to control micro RNA, help individuals achieve impulse control, and change behavior with non-invasive brain stimulation. Recently, two MIT scientists successfully implanted a memory that NEVER HAPPENED into a mouse’s brain. But despite all these incredible advances, I’m… Continue reading Shakin’ off the Earworm
Santa, dear Santa It’s that time of year But you showing up Is now my biggest fear I’m not being critical Of the stuff that you bring In fact, I’ll tell you It’s only one thing Santa, you know I don’t mean to be mocking But last time you left… Continue reading Axe the Axe
Denise Malloy 