50 Shades of A Real Mother


The 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy, written by E.L. James, has become a worldwide phenomenon. This series continues to reach unprecedented sales milestones that suggest every man and woman on the planet currently owns a copy.  The craze started for the self-published James thanks to friends telling friends and ebooks – where women could simply download James’ smutty tales in the privacy of their own homes.

Which, of course, is the digital equivalent of a brown paper bag.

And now, just in time for Valentine’s Day 2015, the movie version hits the big screen.

In 2012, everywhere you looked women were toting around, and actually READING, copies 50 Shades in public. Without so much as blushing.  In the Chicago airport, I witnessed women of all ages, from gray haired grannies to moms with babies in strollers, so totally mesmerized while reading the book they nearly missed their flights.  If the sales numbers are any indication, the odds are good that my own mother has a copy of the book on her nightstand.

The mere thought is so horrifying; I’m going to need therapy. [Read more…]

A Real Mother: stumbling through motherhood – FREE TODAY

I’m in a push to get A Real Mother: stumbling through motherhood to the top 20 (or better!) on the Kindle downloads (it’s a #35 right now), so please download your FREE copy today! And please, please, please – if you’ve already downloaded a copy, share this with your friends.

I’m not above groveling, people.

So get your FREE copy today, pretty please?













(edited: August 31, 2012 – Thank you everyone who downloaded a free copy.  Over 10,000 copies downloaded in the last three days. You made A Real Mother make it to the top 20 on Kindle for a brief shining moment and #1 in both Parenting and Humor downloads. Readers, you all totally rock.)

Kirkus Reviews A Real Mother

I’ve been holding my breath waiting for the Kirkus Review. . . the wait is over.  Woot!  Woot!

stumbling through motherhood
By Denise Malloy (Author)
Malloy presents a collection of 39 funny, charming and poignant snapshots of her life as the mother of two boys.

Malloy presents a collection of 39 funny, charming and poignant snapshots of her life as the mother of two boys.

As is true of most mothers, Malloy notes that she used to have “an individual personality” with hobbies, interests and a career. Then the baby arrived, and the new mom discovered this arrival marked the beginning of a new series of identities: Baby’s Mom, Schoolhouse Mom, Frazzled Mom, Invisible Mom. With gentle humor and wit, the author recounts various moments of motherhood that most mothers will recognize from their own lives. The stories are not reflections on the big occasions of celebration or sadness or drama. These are the short, ordinary, everyday moments often taken for granted, but not here, where they’re examined and savored. Her approach serves as a good reminder that motherhood doesn’t require perfection; that it’s the everyday chaos that makes motherhood so exasperating and yet so worthwhile. This is what it is to be a “Real Mother.” Malloy makes no apology for her conclusions: that the parenting magazines might best be suited for lining the hamster cage; that fathers parent differently; that math will need to be learned all over again; and that the “Land of Perfect Parenthood” is as fictional as never-never land. Rather, Malloy celebrates what “no book could ever teach: common sense” mixed with a little levity. Any mother who has ever herded toddlers, coped with a child’s amazing array of questions and bodily fluids or tried to appear calm while their insides were raging with worry over a teenager, will find solace, camaraderie and more than a few laughs.

A quick, lighthearted romp through the joys of motherhood as told by a real, honest and very funny mom.

Download the eBook for just 99¢!

ForeWord Thinking – ForeWord/Clarion Reviews A Real Mother

Woot! Woot!  Just received a review from ForeWord Clarion.  Here’s what the reviewer had to say about A Real Mother: stumbling through motherhood:

“A Real Mother is a real pleasure.  The only thing to wish for in Denise Malloy’s collection of hilarious essays is more chapters. . .her snarky sense of humor comes through. . . spot-on descriptions. .  good-natured humor. . . elicit giggles and the need to read portions aloud to unsuspecting spouses.”

ForeWord Clarion awarded A Real Mother Five Stars (out of Five). You can read the full review here.

Am I thrilled or what?

A Real Mother Goes Digital

After beating my head against the wall working for months getting the paperback version of A Real Mother ready for print, you’d think I’d be ready to have myself committed put my feet up, take a break and bask in the glow of finally finishing my book.

Think again.

Because formatting the print version was such a new and exciting challenge for me, I’ve always been a glutton for punishment,  I simply had to do more.  So I decided to take A Real Mother into the digital world.

I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than go through that again.

So I’m relieved delighted to announce the Kindle version of A Real Mother is now available at amazon.com.

Since I’m the Real Mother in Charge author, I made the decision to offer the ebook for the low, low price of 99¢  Because it makes no sense to me that digital books are not priced dramatically lower than those in print and I’d really like everyone on the planet to read it and, of course, love it.  Amazon Prime members can download it absolutely FREE.

Download your very own copy of A Real Mother today. I’ll send you the 99¢.  If you like it, please tell a friend.  If you snorted coffee out your nose while reading it, please tell me.     

How to start a book, how to make a book, writing tips, writing how to, i like to write, i love to write, daily writing tips, i write what i like, how to write well,

Of course, it should show A Real Mother on this Kindle.  But let me indulge briefly in a little harmless fantasy that the Kindle is showing The New York Times when A Real Mother is on the bestseller list.  A girl can dream big, right?

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