a real mother

Axe the Axe




Santa, dear Santa

santa2It’s that time of year

But you showing up

Is now my biggest fear


I’m not being critical

Of the stuff that you bring

In fact, I’ll tell you

It’s only one thing


Santa, you know

I don’t mean to be mocking

But last time you left

This stuff in their stocking


So Santa, my friend

I’ve just one thing to say

Please don’t leave Axe

At my house Christmas Day


Santa, it’s hard

For the mother of boys

It was so much easier

When you just left them toys


But now as young men

They want to smell good

I only wish

That they understood


That Axe is plain nasty

It smells awfully rank

Between you and me

I’d rather they stank


Axe is disgusting

I don’t mean to nag

Walk into a cloud of it

And you’ll surely gag


Santa, my dear

I don’t mean to be rude

But after they spray it

I can’t taste my food


But Santa, it’s true

And you and I know

There’s a much better way

To get rid of B.O.


The answer’s not Axe

So please grant my wish

Cause I think they’d smell better

If they rolled in dead fish


It’s really quite simple

Santa, don’t be a dope

If you want them to smell good

Just bring towels and some soap.





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