It’s Here!

Sometimes you just get Huck Finned into doing something.  And in this case, I’m glad I did.  Because really, who gets to laugh for two solid months at their job?

Huck, I mean my boss and General Manager of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, Nick Ehli, asked if I was interested in working on a project compiling police reports for a book along with reporter Jodi Hausen.  “It’ll be fun,” he assured me.

And you know what? It was. [Read more…]

To Laugh Or To Cry, That Is The Question

Now that my computer is back, I can return to all manner of er, um research.  Today I stumbled across this on CNN.com and honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  It might be one of THE most bizarre things I’ve ever read or seen (as is evidenced in the video).  And if it wasn’t on CNN, I would have assumed it was just some CG created film.  But I really don’t think so.

This is a story from Indonesia about a smoking toddler.  You read that right.  This is a story about a toddler who smokes around 40 cigarettes per day.

No, I’m not kidding.  See for yourself.

I couldn’t embed the CNN video, but be sure to watch the video on that link too.  The exasperated mother, through a translator, says she just doesn’t know how she’s going to help him quit.

I’m no child rearing expert but I’ve got a little suggestion.  Considering the average 2-year-old is about 34 inches tall, putting his cigs on the top shelf should solve the problem.  While it might piss him off, I’m just guessing he’ll be down to the few he finds on the floor in no time.

Ban This!

Fox and ABC found this commercial too racy and deemed it inappropriate to air. It is now banned:

 

They pulled the commercial from its spot during Dancing With The Stars which I find ironic given some of the costumes that appear on that show. And don’t even get me started on the inappropriate story lines that they air on some of the shows. But I also believe if you don’t like what you see on a particular channel, your tv has an off button. Use it.

What I’d really like them to explain is how the Lane Bryant commerical differs significantly from this one:

Oh right, the size 16 woman in the Lane Bryant ad has curves like the majority of us. So it makes you wonder what all the fuss is about?

It’s not like I need any more reason to dislike the asshats over at Fox (okay, it’s mainly Fox News that makes me grit my teeth). And ABC, now you’re on my list too. Get real people.

In fact, I’m sending them message. Fox and ABC, listen up. Until you change your ways, YOU are banned in my house because you simply don’t get it. I know they don’t give a shit but it sure makes me feel better.

At Least They Threw Her a Bone

Since it’s April Fool’s Day, I simply couldn’t resist. Except this story is totally for real.

Nadya Suleman, better known as the Octomom, is back in the news again Seems that Octonut’s daddy bought a house for his daughter to raise her 14 children in, who are between the ages of 1 and 8. But when the $450,000 balloon payment came due, Big Daddy didn’t have the coin to make good on the note. So he defaulted, which of course threatened to put mom and her litter out in the street.

But not to worry. Because the People for Ethical Treatment to Animals (PETA) threw Suleman a bone. PETA offered her $5000 if she’d put a sign in her yard that said “Don’t let your dog or cat become an octomom, always spay or neuter.” And to sweeten the deal, PETA threw in a month’s supply of veggie dogs and veggie burgers.

Suleman has the sign in her yard and presumably a freezer full of non-meat products.

But PETA was not the only association to jump in with offers of help. One other philanthropic group threw a bone(r) her way – Vivid Entertainment, the world’s largest purveyor of adult entertainment, generously offered to pay off her house if she would, you guessed it, make a porn film.

Of course you know where this is going. Don’t make me say it.

I can’t fathom Roger Moore or Maud Adams find this amusing.

“No porn. Just PETA,” Suleman reportedly said through her attorney. “Nadya prefers animals over men.”

Don’t you think the attorney could have phrased it just a little better?

It seems a bit odd that any ethical fertility doctor would allow a single woman with six children to conceive eight more in vitro when she is living on disability, worker’s comp and student loans in her mother’s house. At least the Duggars had their 19 the old fashioned way and apparently have not resorted to porn to pay for their tribe.

I suppose Suleman was counting on offers of everything from diapers to six figure reality show deals rolling in after the miraculous octuplets arrived. Now Octonut wonders why she has to contemplate offers of making a porn flick to pay her bills. Who’s the fool?

Thanks For Clearing That Up

On my last few trips, I’ve noticed that the signage posted for the general public suggests we need more than a little guidance in dealing with our personal affairs. That or we’ve become much more stupid than I ever imagined.

My money’s on stupid.

So it was no real surprise to find this sign over every sink at Disney World:

And I, for one, am thankful they posted this helpful placard. Because I always find executing the handwashing sequence is as complex as, oh, I don’t know, launching the space shuttle.

Maybe next time they’ll hang a sign over the toliet that says Wipe Last.

Don’t be surprised.

Getting In Line

Yes, I’ve been offline for the week. But rest assured I have been IN line. Because I have been to Disney World.

Apparently, the entire nation was on spring break this week. And everyone took a secret vote to meet in Orlando.

The funny thing was, even with the throngs of humanity descending on the parks, everyone I encountered was pleasant and friendly despite the wait to do just about EVERYTHING. (the only adult snapping I witnessed was of the parental kind and directed at whining children to the tune of – “Do you know how much it cost to bring you here? Now get in line, quit your crying or I will GIVE you something to cry about.”) You waited in line to get your bag searched to enter the park. You waited in line to enter the park. You waited in line to ride even the minor attractions. You waited in line to order food. You waited in line to pee. You waited in line to catch the bus back to the hotel at the end of the day. And everyone seemed happy about it.

I am impatient. I hate to wait. But for some reason this week, I didn’t care. I was on Disney’s Happy Hookah.

But to me, that is part of the sheer brilliance of Disney marketing – an oversized mouse lures you to a place where you are a captive audience in the name of providing zippity do dah family fun to your children (which they do), you whip out your wallet to pay $7 for a hot dog and $3 for a Coke (and you do), and make you rationalize waiting in line for a 120 minutes for a 3 minute ride. And you enjoy every minute of it.

I still think there’s something in the water. But I’ll keep drinking it anyway.

Begging for Mercy


No Mercy? No kidding.

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