a real mother

It’s A Girlfriend Thing

When it comes to your girlfriends, women just know – we are there for each other.  A wise friend maybe said it best when she told me, “Friends help friends move.  But girlfriends help move bodies.”  Now before you think this was a Dixie Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl” Hefty Bag moment, think again. This conversation was about having to help her best friend move her elderly mother to a nursing home.

Women have known that we are each other’s strength since Eve was dishing to her BFF about Adam.  Guys, we love you but there’s not a one of you who can take the place of our girlfriends.  And that’s exactly how it’s meant to be.

Quite frankly, I’ve always been a little pissed off that Helen Reddy made me think that as a woman, if I wanted to roar, I had to go it alone.  I somehow had the impression that I had to embrace my inner two-year-old, stomp my foot and yell “Do It Myself!” without a little help from my girlfriends.  And boy, was I wrong.

Girlfriends know what to say and when not to say it.  Girlfriends know when to just listen.  Your BFF is there when you tell her in disbelief that your husband is now hiking the Appalachain Trail along with Govenor Sanford.  Girlfriends hold your hand after you’ve had a miscarriage.  They cry right along with you after you discover that you can’t have children at all.  Girlfriends come sit with you during the chemo that you both pray is blasting your breast cancer.

One of the things that mom girlfriends would agree on is that we don’t take time for ourselves and our friends.  We blame being too busy, work, our kids’ hectic schedules and being downright exhausted.   And that is a pity.  Because we need each other.  So when a friend announced, “We’re having a mom’s night out – no excuses,” I was totally there.

So as we sat around catching up and refilling our wine glasses, the conversation naturally turned to lamenting about all the changes that have accompained our kids’ transition to the teenage years.  Many of us with boys are adjusting to our new role of being The Wallet and The Car Keys during this in between place. And I, for one, am just a little bit sad that the relationship with Older Boy has moved (hopefully temporarily) on to waters I am unsure how to navigate.  Commenting on this new, strange parenting land we’ve entered, one mom said, “What we are now is the glue.  We hold it all together for everyone.  And I’m okay with being the glue.”  Now I don’t mind being the glue, I’d just like to be the hot glue.

So when your girlfriend calls, let her know how much you care.  Because she’s got your back.  And a shovel and a Hefty Bag, if you ever need it.