Yellowstone for Dummies

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Many people who move to Bozeman soon make an unexpected discovery –  suddenly they have become extremely popular. Long lost friends come a callin’ hoping to hang out with you – in your Montana paradise. Without fail, my wannabe guests always have two questions. First: Can we stay with you?  Second: Will you take us to Yellowstone?

Without question, my besties can show up at my door, unannounced, at any time, day or night, and stay for as long as they want. I will feed them, share my wine, and do their laundry. However, the same is not true for mere acquaintances.  But once I was living in Big Sky Country, it seemed I was now required by law to roll out the red carpet, be the AirBnB host, executive chef, and perky tour guide for every cousin twice-removed, anyone who signed my high school yearbook, or any human who ever appeared in my contacts.

Although I imagined emailing a Travelocity link for flights, hotels, and rental cars – It’s cheaper when you book together! – inevitably I caved in to the pressure to avoid being known that total schmuck who lives in Montana. “Of course,” I’d say, sometimes while popping my molars like bubble wrap.

Really, I always wanted to be Julie, the Love Boat Cruise Director. [Read more…]

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