Santa, dear Santa
It’s that time of year
But you showing up
Is now my biggest fear
I’m not being critical
Of the stuff that you bring
In fact, I’ll tell you
It’s only one thing
Santa, you know
I don’t mean to be mocking
But last time you left
This stuff in their stocking
So Santa, my friend
I’ve just one thing to say
Please don’t leave Axe
At my house Christmas Day
Santa, it’s hard
For the mother of boys
It was so much easier
When you just left them toys
But now as young men
They want to smell good
I only wish
That they understood
That Axe is plain nasty
It smells awfully rank
Between you and me
I’d rather they stank
Axe is disgusting
I don’t mean to nag
Walk into a cloud of it
And you’ll surely gag
Santa, my dear
I don’t mean to be rude
But after they spray it
I can’t taste my food
But Santa, it’s true
And you and I know
There’s a much better way
To get rid of B.O.
The answer’s not Axe
So please grant my wish
Cause I think they’d smell better
If they rolled in dead fish
It’s really quite simple
Santa, don’t be a dope
If you want them to smell good
Just bring towels and some soap.
Thank goodness I had a girl!